Your Worst Energy Vampire Might Live in Your Phone

We are all familiar with the term energy vampire. You know the feeling. You wake up knowing you should hit post on the thing you wanted to say, or you told yourself you would not look at your unsubscribes, and then you do. You can name exactly who your energy vampire is, and yet you are keeping them around. I want to talk about that today, because we are heading into Q4, and I say this as someone who is biased and thinks every quarter is a great time to sell: Q4 is statistically a really strong season for sales. It is just not a great season for anyone who lets energy vampires squeeze every good idea right out of them.

🎧 Prefer to listen? This post began as Ep 635 of the My Aligned Purpose podcast. Listen on Apple Podcasts or listen on Spotify.

Why Your Energy Is Your Most Important Business Asset

Here is something fascinating about energy: we all have it, and some of us are magnetized toward certain people while we are repelled from others. Energy vampires do not always realize they are energy vampires, and someone who drains you may feel wonderful to the next person. What matters is that you get clear on who expands you, the people who make you feel like anything is possible, and who sucks the life out of any good idea you have.

Every single time I hit record on this podcast, I have to make sure my energy is aligned, grounded, and confident. I can say one thing, but if my energy is portraying another, you will pick up more on my energy than on the words coming out of my mouth. I believe the marketing, the sales, and the operations all come after you get really clear on who you are as a business owner and the energy you bring to every conversation, connection, and collaboration. We are all in the business of people. Even if you sell mugs or jewelry, or products for pets, a person is the one buying.

The Energy Vampires Showing Up in Your Business

The first one I ran into as a brand new entrepreneur was the well-meaning naysayer. In 2016 and 2017 I wrote my first book, and my publishing company told me we were guaranteed a bestseller with their launch strategy. I was thrilled. I kept it a surprise for a long time because I thought everyone would be so excited for me. Instead I got, "But are you going to be a full-time writer? Is that going to pay your bills?" At that time, it took the air out of my tires. I would handle that conversation very differently today, but it taught me something. When someone holds more doubt about what you are building than you do, you are in choice. Have the conversation, or stop inviting them into your big dreams.

The second is the boundary tester. This is the client, friend, or family member who keeps pushing to see if you mean what you say. They want extra calls, ask for discounts, or break the "don't DM me" rule. Sometimes they are a super fan at the start, and once they are inside, they tell you about every other program that did not work for them. I know I am not responsible for anyone else's results, and we do exactly what we say we will do. Still, you have to spot these people early. If they are almost up for renewal, do not renew them. And remember that you are responsible for your energy, and you decide how much you allow your boundaries to be tested.

When the Energy Vampire Is You

This is the part I love most, because it is so much easier to name vampires outside of ourselves. My own mode of self-suffering is comparison. My comparative scroll, looking at Instagram before I create and wondering how that person had such a successful launch, is an energy vampire that lives right in my phone. When it is not lighting me up, I delete the app for a few days. That time is precious, and I would rather spend it in the morning with my baby or in the evening with my husband.

Then there is the inner critic: "Who am I to do that? The last launch did not work. I do not have many followers. Who am I to sell this?" I would argue that is the biggest, most intrusive vampire we have. If other people's doubt did not bother you at all, you would not see them as vampires. My TED Talk, if somebody does not take it before me, will be that self-awareness is a superpower.

How to Predict and Prevent Energy Vampires Before a Launch

I truly believe energy vampires, inner and outer, show up right before we do something big and visible: hitting a stage, launching a book, raising a price, or posting the one thing that will tip people over the edge to working with you. So prepare for it. Going into a launch, ask who has your back and who does not. Who do you need to mute, block, or have a hard conversation with so you can go in well-equipped?

Then audit. After a conversation with a client, coach, peer, or friend, ask whether you feel better, neutral, or like you hope you never have to talk to them again. That is NLP at work: programming is just another word for pattern and habit. If you have talked to someone four times and did not feel good, you do not need to schedule a fifth.

Simple Ways to Protect Your Energy and Sell From a Full Cup

Here is what has worked for me, along with things I have heard from healers and intuitives over the years.

• Take a shower with intention. Water is cleansing, so say what you are ready to release and let it go down the drain. A woman who led me through a cord-cutting exercise a decade ago told me to shower afterward.
• Fill your own cup first. My first mentor, Fabienne Fredrickson, taught me to fill my cup before serving others. That means no email or doom scrolling before I journal or spend time with my son.
• Set an intention instead of an expectation. An intention will supersede any unmet expectation.
• Get crystal clear on your offer. Skip the fire hose and the kitchen sink, and lead with the result. Clear deliverables feel cleaner and protect you from the "but you said I would get this" conversations.
• Close out the day with a reset ritual. I am not there yet, but I love the idea of a walk after closing the laptop, five minutes of breathwork, or journaling.

Why does this matter for sales? People feel it when you sell from depletion or scarcity. Two coaches can say the exact same words, and people will choose the one who makes them feel invited in. We have all walked into a room where nobody says anything and the energy is off, and a room where it is the opposite. Without words, energy speaks volumes.

Your Energy Audit for This Week

Before you head into your week, do a little audit of your time energy, your money energy, and your people energy. Who got the best of your energy? Who tried to suck you dry, and who poured into you? Are you going to give the draining ones more of your time, or back away? And with your own inner dialogue, what are you willing to stop doing that leaves you depleted? Take a break from social media when you need it. Mute, block, and delete those who do not deserve to take you down with their energy.

Remember, there is a buyer for every level. If you put your offer out this fall and hear the doubt, forget it. There are eight billion people on this planet, and you do not have to serve everybody or be for everybody. Go make your Q4 sales from a place of being grounded, fulfilled, and energetically aligned with the people who want what you have.

Want to know where your business stands? Take the free quiz at myalignedpurpose.com/quiz, get weekly encouragement through our newsletter, and if you are ready for the mindset, energetics, and strategy support to sell with full-cup energy, explore the Aligned CEO Method.